September Flew!

Man, September has gone by like a flash.  So much has happened, and we have sure kept busy!

Blazer is now 3, and POTTY TRAINED!  We had Blazer's birthday at Chuck E. Cheese, which was absolutely wonderful.  It was pricey but worth it.  We haven't really done a birthday like that before.  It's amazing to experience a birthday for our children and actually enjoy it instead of running around cooking, baking, serving, cleaning, etc.  A few days before Blazer's birthday, Aaron made a deal with Blazer to buy him some "big boy" Toy Story underwear if he didn't pee in a PullUp for a full day.  Blazer succeeded and the incentive of the big boy underwear has been enough to keep him dry for over a week.  We use the PullUps at night and during nap, but he rarely needs them even then.  Yay for Blazer!

I have been teaching Faith sign language, and she is catching on quickly.  She also started talking!  In addition to Mama, Dada, Bah-bah, and Nigh-Nigh, she can now say, "Thank you."  I've been working on, "I love you," and she's close!  The sign language has been helping her communicate even more, and Blazer likes the sign language too - like it's a game.  Watching her grow up in warp speed has me catching my breath, but I am so excited to see her learning!  Oh...and Faith went from walking to running around the house - she is way too fast!

After Blazer's birthday, I asked my Mother-in-Law to stay with us for the week.  It was such a blessing.  She helped around the house, nurtured the kids, and gave me such a nice break from the everyday craziness of being an evening single parent.  She went home today, and when I came home I realized how much she did before she left.  My laundry is ALL DONE AND FOLDED.  Like, seriously, that's just amazing.  She cleaned the kitchen, MY BATHROOMS, and so much more.  Sheesh!  I didn't expect her to do anything except for help with the kids, and she went far and beyond that.  I feel extremely grateful and appreciative of all she has done.  (I hope you are reading this, Karen!)  We love her and we are so glad she came to be with us.  My mommy gets to come in November, and I am super excited.  I love having family close enough for visits!

In September, I not only began teaching at a new school, but also the children started at a new daycare.  It has been just a few days, but I already know we are going to love it.  It's an in-home daycare, which we prefer until pre-school comes, and I'm glad we could find someone we feel comfortable with.  Sharon Cole was our in-home care provider for almost two years and we sure miss her.  We really wanted to find a situation similar, and I think we did.  What a relief!

Today, Aaron started at the UO.  This means that in the morning we both wake up, take showers, get the kids ready for daycare, and leave at the same time to drop them off.  Mornings are crazy!  We'll get the hang of this...we will...we have to.  :)

As a final note, I just want to say that we are incredibly blessed.  We feel so complete here and we thank the Lord for our blessings.  Our lives are full of love, family, and friendship that help us survive and thrive.  Thank you to all who have been with us along the way and have followed our journey.

Until next time...

Time to be thankful...(LONG)

5 Years and WOW

The past 5 years has been a bundle of experiences.  I remember when I graduated with my master's degree. It was 2008.  I was a newly certified teacher who was fortunate to find a temporary, part-time job at the high school I graduated from.  Aaron and I were married and living in Eugene at the time, so we trekked back to our hometown.  It was such a blessing to have a job opportunity at my old high school.  We prayed about it, and we were truly thankful.  After the move, Aaron got a job at a tire company and things were up and down that year with our finances, living situation, etc.  It was the best teaching year I could have possibly experienced for year one - but Aaron was unhappy.

They couldn't renew my contract in the spring, which meant I had to job hunt again.  I found myself interviewing for, and later accepting, a job in Tillamook at the junior high.  I was born there, spent quite a bit of time there, and it was odd to find myself on a journey back to where I came into the world.  Aaron, on the other hand, finally saw an opening at a local cabinet shop in Bend.  We had to decide what was best for us, so we moved to Tillamook.  We didn't know if we were going to survive financially, where we would live, or whether we could even find a home with our two large dogs (kids were a future thought at the time).  But, I had the largest income.  Rather quickly, things fell into place.  I accepted a job in May, found a house in June, moved in August.  Aaron stayed in Bend to work a little longer, but he quickly found a job (in a jobless market no less) within the first week after he moved over.

After a miscarriage/false pregnancy in the summer of 2009, Aaron and I were weary about trying for children.  We also had to think about the maternity leave at a new job, whether it was best for our situation.  After months, we were blessed with Blazer in September 2010.  He was a miracle, a light of life, and a wonderful addition to our family.  When Blazer was 9 months old, Aaron was laid off from his job.  Unemployment kept us just under the surface, and ultimately we filed bankruptcy later in the year.  We moved into Tillamook from Rockaway Beach to save on gas and rent.  Then, that fall, we made two hard choices.  The bankruptcy was the first, but Aaron and I agreed the next best decision was for him to go back to school.

Aaron started college in the fall of 2011 after being a stay-at-home dad with Blazer.  He hadn't attended school since his 10th grade year in high school.  There were so many unkowns with his financial aid, scheduling daycare, and surviving.  BUT, he is amazing.  His financial aid came through, he realized just how incredibly intelligent he is, and we began to truly thrive in the Tillamook area.  We had prayed so much in the three years that lead up to Aaron's return to his schooling - and we were not short on our blessings.  Our family was thankful and blessed.  And the blessings kept coming...

I found out I was pregnant with our daughter, Faith, in October 2011.  Blazer gave us so much light, and we knew Faith would just add another wonderful piece to our family.  In January 2012 Aaron applied for scholarships to pay for his next year at Tillamook Bay.  To our surprise and excitement, he was selected as a finalist for the Ford Family Foundation Restart Scholarship, meant for students who met adversity and returned to education with a purpose.  Aaron succeeded through the interview process (42 scholarships were given out of 565 applicants) and was awarded up to a $90,000 scholarship - paying for 90% of tuition and daycare expenses through his first year of graduate school.  We both couldn't believe it -- and we were cautiously awaiting a point when our blessings would eventually be balanced with adversity.

After Aaron's scholarship success, we again had to think about our options.  He had the ability to continue in higher education, become a teacher, and start making the difference he has dreamed about for a long time.  I was part of a staff at the Junior High whom I adored, and I loved my job.  We had a wonderful daycare.  Aaron didn't want to take our family away from a place where we were finally finding our way.  But I couldn't make him give up what he ultimately had dreamed about, that redeeming point in his life when he was proud of himself and his accomplishments.  This was something we had to do, and we both felt it.  We decided I would resign and take our family to Eugene, where Aaron would attend the UO as and undergrad and eventually earn his M.Ed and teaching certificate in English and History.

And this brings us to this summer.  A summer of uncertainty and trials of self-doubt.  Did we make the right choice?  Did we follow the right path?  Are we going to regret our decisions that have brought us here?  When in doubt, we prayed.  The odds of me finding a teaching job in the Eugene area were slim.  The job market for teachers just isn't what it was even five years ago, budgets and all.  We had a plan for me to sub whenever I could.  I applied to every job I was qualified for, part-time, full-time, temporary, etc.  Things were looking bleak.  Aaron and I came to the realization that this year was probably going to be struggle, but we had to reassure ourselves that we made the right choice.  And then, out of nowhere, a job opened up in Elmira at the high school.

An English teacher had resigned after finding a job in administration late in August.  Full-time, permanent, high school, MY DREAM JOB.  When I became a teacher, high school was my choice.  I fell in love with my junior high colleagues and the students, but I always had a craving for high school.  I applied.  The connections that were made before my interview on my behalf, unknown to me before my interview, were just too coincidental.  The pieces that had to fall into place for this to all work out carried even worse odds than the Beavers winning the Civil War in football this year.  I interviewed and felt wonderful, like a sweetness in my chest and heart that was reassuring and exciting.  A few hours after my interview, on a Thursday before a Monday start, I was offered the job.

THIS. IS. UNBELIEVABLE.  I'm not sure what constitutes miracles in your lives, but this is a miracle.  I cried.  Aaron and I both did.  This just doesn't happen.  Good things, like what has come to be in the last 5 years, just don't happen to people consistently.  We are thankful for all the blessings we have received.  Aaron and I are in such awe of all of the things that had to fall into place.  The house we found to rent, we were approved in minutes and moved in two weeks later (we feared our bankruptcy would get in the way).  We found an amazing in-home daycare just down the street.  I have a job.  I. HAVE. A. JOB.  I can continue doing what I LOVE, and our family is going to be just fine.  We're going to survive.

I know not everyone believes in something bigger than all of us.  That sometimes you have to make your own destiny, and fate is just a result of that.  But too many times, too many things, too many situations have shown us that something bigger is at work here.  The choices we have made have been carefully selected, and guided with instinct that holds power beyond our own choosing.  We are thanking each and every day for what we have. Aaron and I look at one another, together for 11 years (married for 6 on Sept. 8, 2013), incredibly and completely in love and happy...and all we can muster is "Wow."

WOW.

Night folks.

    

Yep, we're winners!

Okay...maybe not the lottery, slot machines, etc...

We're winners in this house because Blazer is doing the potty thang - and really well I might add.

My last post, "Success!", provided details on our potty-going adventure, and I may have mentioned that I was waiting for a successful numba-two try in the potty on his own.  We've reached that goal, ten-four!  AND SO MUCH MORE!

I really cannot contain my excitement.  I know potty chatter really isn't everyone's cup-o-pee, but as a parent I'm floating on the potty training cloud right now.  It's has been four days of no diapers...yes, I said FOUR.  FOUR AMAZING DAYS WITHOUT HAVING TO CHANGE A DIAPER!!

I know, I know...maybe my excitement is a little premature, but heck yes!  Pull-ups are working so well!  He uses about 2, sometimes 3 a day, and it's not really because they are dirty but because they just get worn out with all his playing around.  We found that leaving his pants or shorts off while at home helped with his ease of going on his own.  He's a weird little dude too, because he wants to use his little potty downstairs but uses the big potty upstairs just fine.  Hmm.. Whatevs.  Did I mention we have gone FOUR DAYS without diapers?  (No, I'm not going to admit a pull-up is a diaper.)

In addition to the pull-ups, today we tried regular underwear.  He did so great with those too.  It's like, he gets it now.  A lightbulb has been turned on.

Chug-a-chug-choo-choo.  Potty train, we're going to keep chuggin'. 

Post-blog notes:  I forgot to mention that Blazer took his potty training success to a public restroom today.  Actually, he begged to go into a store, just to use the potty.  Umm, win!  

Success!

It's really important to celebrate each success, no matter how small.  For the last week, Aaron and I have been working harder than ever before on the potty training with Blazer.  He's resisting, but we're persistent.  Couple of things we are trying:

1) Place him on the potty every hour - celebrating even if he goes or not..
2) Setting a two-minute timer with a cool alert at the end, making sure he has enough time to do his business.
3) Praise, praise, praise.  If he went, we throw one heck of a verbal party.
4) Purchased cool "Cars" and "Monster's Inc." pull-ups. (Yikes, I know what they say about pull-ups, but damn it, we have to try everything.)
5) Brought the little potty in the living room, so he doesn't feel rushed to go watch a favorite show.  (This has actually worked great! ...and if you are judging about Netflix cartoon watching for a toddler, just don't go there.  Ha.)

Finally, I wanted to share today's success.  I put Blazer in his bed for a nap.  15 minutes later I hear him in the bathroom.  I figured he was in the tub playing with his bath toys, which is odd because he NEVER leaves his room during sleep times.  I walk upstairs and his diaper is on the floor and he's on the toilet - GOING POTTY.  Praise all that is holy in toilet world.  This is a major leap for him, and I'm so excited.

I'll be even more excited when he does the #2 deed on his own...  Yes folks, poop is very exciting when you have a toddler...VERY.

Have a great Sunday!

Discipline

This is the hardest part of parenting for me. Child psychology experts, who must have conducted outrageous studies on infants and toddlers, have varying opinions of what discipline should look like in any given family. 

Well, that's all fine and dandy...for the experts.  As a teacher and a mother I have the blessing/curse of seeing the fruits (or lumps of coal) that parenting has created in today's adolescents.  The one thing I can be certain about is that the type of parenting we use and the way we raise children from the womb to adulthood has a significant impact on everything those tiny human beings become. Well, duh I guess. 

Unlike trying a new recipe and seeing the results minutes later, we have to wait to see how our efforts have panned out as our children grow up. I can't say I do everything right. I can't say I know what I'm doing all the time. But, I can say that I'm present, I hold my children accountable for their actions, and I hold myself accountable. Yes. Me. Because when my children are partaking in society, a classroom, or anywhere, no one will be able to say, "He/she didn't have a good upbringing."

I know my children have free will and make choices, but Im going to make sure they go on in life knowing good morals and right from wrong. I'm not afraid to discipline my children, and I'm not afraid because I know it will make them better people. I'm the person I am today because my parents held a firm stand in our home - from that I learned to respect them, myself, and others.

One of the biggest mistakes I think we can make is to expect our children to know something we won't teach them because we think they will learn it from somewhere else.  It's our job to help them learn.

And to be frank - it has been an evening of tough lessons in this house.   I don't regret teaching my children...and learning from them too.  

Potty training woes

The potty. The toilet. The bathroom. Cars padded seat, baby Bjorn potty chair, potty dance, pee-pee treats...nothing works. 

Blazer likes diapers. Actually he might just like the leisure of going potty at any time he pleases. He'll be 3 in September and I keep thinking of Blazer's first year of preschool in diapers.   This kid just doesn't care. I've tried what the books and so-called experts say. I've tried letting him wear big boy underwear. I've tried potty chairs in multiple places. I've tried potty songs and dances (which were more traumatizing to him than the act of peeing on the toilet). 

The last couple of days he has pooped in his diaper and it has found its way out. What. Do. I. Do. Now?

Poop, screen doors, and ants

Last night was a hard night with the kids. Blazer refuses to potty train. He's used the potty many times in the past, but I think the addition of Faith made him take leaps back. He sees her get attention during diaper changes and he wants that too, I assume. Anyways, here's how my night progressed...

First, Blazer kept trying to abuse Faith with one of those giant basketballs you can win at the fair.  I hid the ball - problem solved. 

Next, Blazer thought it was hilarious to stand on the patio in the backyard and attempt to smash Faith's legs in the sliding screen door. I brought Blaze inside and locked the sliding glass door. 

Then...oh man my blood boils at the thought of this one.  Blazer is sitting on the floor next to his recliner with something like chocolate on his legs and on the recliner. Faith had decided to play in the chocolate colored mess on the recliner. OMG. POOP! Some poop had fallen out of Blazer's diaper. I yelled. I grabbed Faith and put her in the kitchen sink to wash off her hands. I cried. I put Blazer in the toilet while I cleaned up the mess. I cried. And then they both had baths. 

And if that wasn't bad enough...I went to warm up my dinner in the microwave, and it was infested with ants. We have ants with superpowers in our house. They. Just. Won't. Die. I blasted their asses in he microwave for a few minutes, and then warmed up my food.  After all, sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and go one step at a time. 

Today will be better, and if it's not...

No, it has to be better. Have a great day!

Defensive Phrases

As a parent, I have to choose my battles with my toddler wisely, and that's saying a lot when I have a two year old who constantly wants to battle.  Along the way, I've used some phrases I had believed to be great defensive and non-aggressive ways to deter Blazer.  Now, he kindly uses them on me - I guess I start battles sometimes too...

Here are few:

"You need to be nice to me."
"You mad?  You be happy!"
"You say sorry to me!"
"You no talk to me!"
"Not fair."
"I can't, I too small."  (He apparently is too small every time we ask him to do a chore he dislikes.  Currently, he's too small to use the toilet.)

I think one of my favorites is from a situation when we were telling Blazer we were going to play outside.  We lived in Tillamook and the sun didn't come out often, so when it did we took advantage.  We told him, "It's sunny! We can go out and play!"  Outside is always fun with Blazer, and he really loves to play.  He associates sunshine with playtime now, inside or out.  So, his response when he needs a nap during the daytime is...

"But Mom, it's Sunny!  Look!  It's sunny!  I don't sleep.  It's sunny!"  - In Tillamook, I would have cut the kid some slack when the sun came out. But, in Springfield during the summer...he'd never get a nap.  He's clever though...touche Blaze.

1 Year Later

On July 16, 2012, I said hello to our baby girl, Faith.

It's fitting and completely unoriginal to share her birth story now that she is 1, but I can't help but reminisce.

Sunday, we had a baby shower for Faith at our church in Tillamook.  A few very wonderful ladies showed up to show their love for an angel yet to be born...and I was extremely pregnant.  Her due day was the 26th and it was the 15th.  Like all women in their last weeks of pregnancy, I was ready.  After the baby shower, a few of us made plans to go to the Oregon Zoo in Portland (an hour away) the next day.

I woke up on Monday feeling weird.  I woke up with back pain when I went into the labor with Blazer, and then my water broke at home shortly after I awoke.  This was different.  I just felt...icky.  I called my friends and told them I had better take it easy.  That was 8:30am.  Aaron was in class at TBCC, and I was home with Blazer for the day.  I felt pain but I was in denial.  At 9:30 I called my mom and told her I thought I might be in labor.  While on the phone with her, she laughed because I was breathing heavily.  "You're in labor," she told me.

Crap...I can do this.

My doctor had told me to stay at home and labor as long as possible because I wouldn't be admitted until I was a few centimeters dilated.  Well, I'm a wimp and that sounded horrible.  But...I did.  I walked around my house whaling like I was dying during contractions.  I would sit, stand, lean over, etc.  Blazer came to me during one of my contractions and said, "Mommy, you ok?" Sure bud...just dandy.

I texted Aaron that I was in labor but to just come home after class, not to rush.  I knew I probably had a few hours.  Cheyenne, a very good friend of mine, came over at 11:30 to keep an eye on Blazer while I labored.  Aaron read my text during class, freaked out, and came home as soon as he could.  At about 12, I had enough and went to my doctor to get checked.  Luckily my doctor office and the hospital were only a block away.  Almost 5 centimeters she had told me when I got there.  Hospital time.

Thank. Goodness.

I went home, picked up Aaron, and then went to the hospital.  I'm a big baby.  I admit it.  When they made me sit in a wheelchair to go a few stories up in the elevator, I wanted to scream - sitting during contractions hurt like hell.  I got to my room, stood up, and grabbed the closest nurse to hold on for dear life while I suffered through another contraction.  A few minutes later, the anesthesiologist came in for my epidural.  I had an amazing doctor who called in my drugs right after I left her office.  It was about 1:15 when I had my epidural.

Ah. I can breathe.

I relaxed.  Chatted with Aaron and Cheyenne (who had taken Blazer to our daycare).  And I slept a little.  About 4 hours later it was time.  Six pushes and she was out.  I don't even think it took 10 minutes.  Amazing. Beautiful. Perfect.  She weighed 7 lbs 2 oz.

Faith Ann Brumbach

Now, a year later, we all adore her.  Blazer loves her, even with his jealous spells.  She's a happy baby with the best personality.  Her giggle is contagious and she's a fast learner.  Our life was wonderful when we had Blazer, but now it's everything we could have ever hoped for...and more.

   

Yep, the absent blogger.

I never wanted to be one of the probably millions who start a blog and then leave it in the black hole of the internet.  ...it happened anyway.

It amazes me what takes up my time on any given day.  Diaper changes, runny noses, tantrums, food, snacks...tantrums, more food...did I say tantrums yet?  Oh yeah, and then there's snuggles, kisses, hugs, "I love you mommy," and lots of other wonderfulness that outweighs all the aforementioned.

All of that can seem like a lot, but I do have enough downtime to blog - really I do.  I read a post yesterday about blogging - that someone who starts a blog with the only intention to lay it out there is not someone who will blog successfully.  It's the community building that makes success.  I never even thought about what type of community I wanted to reach out to.  Maybe moms like me, or women, or just anyone who might find humor in my seemingly normal yet crazy-to-me life.

When I started my purpose was to share our lives with my family.  It's hard to live far away and still provide the opportunity for my children and our relatives to know one another.

And then there's Facebook, which for many people can be a great alternative to blogging.  Lately, though, it's just a little bit unnerving to sift through all the game posts, advertisements, sponsored profiles, and whatever else may show up on my "newsfeed" in order to get to the good stuff about all my relatives, friends, etc.

Blogging is simple, it's all in one place, and it's all about what you went there for.  That's why I'm going to attempt this again - for like the umpteenth time.  Maybe this time I'll be a little better than the last.  Besides, with the way life is going these days for our family...I may have a little more down time than I want.

Be back...soon.

Elmo - who knew?

For Blazer's 1st birthday, my sister's mother-in-law gave him a DVD titled, "The best of Elmo: 2."  Sesame Street just doesn't make it on the T.V. for us on a regular basis.  This DVD was Blazer's first Elmo experience.

The first time we put the DVD in, Blazer was mildly interested.  The DVD is a collection of musical snippets in Elmo's wonderful world of counting and life lessons.  Colorful, cute, but still not a cartoon, which Blazer is use to watching. 

Today, Blazer was A-W-F-U-L.  He would mope about the house, yelling and screaming.  (Sarah, if you are reading this, I don't think a raptor has anything on my son.  You know what I mean.)  He just wouldn't stop.  NOTHING was helping.  Long nap, NO.  Cup of Fruit2O, NO.  Food, NO.    O.M.G. kid! 

After dinner Aaron just decided to put in a movie and see if Blazer would calm down.  He chose the Elmo movie.  I gave Blazer some milk and sat him in his chair with his blanket.  The movie started and Aaron decided to do his homework while I browsed recipes for the holidays.  Minutes go by and not one word from Blazer.  There wasn't even a sound of him rustling around.  Aaron thought he fell asleep so he went to check. 

Blazer was completely engaged with Elmo - eyes glued to him! 

Here is Exhibit A:

Thank you, Elmo.  You made our night so much easier!

Happy Tuesday!

September: The big ONE

Onto September... 

This was a tough month for many reasons.  In usual list style, here you go:

1) I started teaching again - two subjects I have never done before. 
2) We decided Aaron is going back to school and enrolled him into Tillamook Bay Community College.
3) FAFSA took too long and we had to come up with the money for the first tuition deposit.  Can you say, "Broke, much?"
4) Blazer turned 1, which turned out to be a stressful yet extremely enjoyable day.
5) Had to get the babysitter the new schedule which I screwed up on and then had to fix...TWICE.
6) Aaron and I had our first dentist appointments in YEARS.  "Hello, Root Canal."

Things that were awesome about September:

1) Aaron went back to school!
2) Blazer is walking!
3) Blazer turned ONE and can say, "Da-da.  Nigh, Nigh.  Wow."   Yes, that's three words.  :)
4) 1st Birthday for Blazer was a success!  (Do you see a pattern of repetition here?  It's because, when things are tough, it doesn't always mean they are bad.) 
5) Aaron and I had our 4th Anniversary and are growing in love and appreciation for one another.  Yes, you can go puke now.


Ah, lists.  So easy, yet concise.  :)

Some remembrance...

 Very inexpensive birthday in the park. 

 Cousin Tyson...who will be 2 in December!

 Not one of my best baking accomplishments, but still efficient.

 Oreo Cookie Cupcakes

 Mommy and Blazer

 Dig in.

Being 1 means a haircut is coming soon...

September, "That'll do.  That'll do."

August Rush

Good movie...but really our August was one big RUSH.

We finally got to spend some time in our new house for a week.  Family and friends came over for the Tillamook County Fair, which is the best fair is the state of Oregon (seriously).  They decided to camp at Barview State Park by Garibaldi, which is RIGHT on the beach.  We had a blast with them here and even had some awesome family photos taken by a talented up and coming photographer, Amanda Vinson.  Aaron and I were also proud to show off our new house and decorations, which were a huge hit. 

Some remembrance...

 Me, Amanda Vinson, and my sister, Amanda Conklin

 Chris McKenzie, Aaron, Shane Conklin, and Luke Vinson

 Me, my AWESOME mother, and my sis.

After the fair, friends, and family came and went, we were off again.  This time, we decided to go to Hermiston, Oregon, where Aaron's sister and her family lives.  There, we spent a week of good, hot weather, awesome new friends, great eats, and tons of laughs! 

Some remembrance...

 Blazer in Hermiston at this beautiful place called, "Warehouse Beach."

 Blazer sporting his new baby speedo.  Yes, he can definitely pull it off.

August was the month of the "Green Security Bottle" which is why you didn't see him often without it.

Our family arrived back in Tillamook with a week to spare before I started work again.  We unpacked and organized everything.  One of the other highlights of our return was.... (Drum roll...)  We finally filed bankruptcy.  

August, thank you for being so good to us.  It was a great way to end the summer.

AUGUST NOTES:   Blazer started to drink regular whole milk.  Yes!  No. More. Formula.  He tolerates whole milk now and....HE CAN EAT OATMEAL...not that he wants to.  Possibly the biggest Blazer Note of August:  He started to try and walk, unsuccessfully I might add, but the desire was there.  11 months old!

The rest of July

MOVING - Yes, again...

Side note:  We have moved 4 times in the last 5 years.

After camping for the 4th, Aaron and I had to move into the home that we had found in June (yes I forgot to mention we went house hunting in June).  Bad things about the current home we were living in:
1) It was too small.
2) It was 30 minutes one way to work.
3) The natural lighting in that house sucked.
4) $900 a month was high for the space we got.
5) The house was more built for vacation, not LIVING in for extended periods.

We went house hunting for a total of 3 days.  We looked at two homes in town. Number 1 was an old farm house with a buhzillion bedrooms and 1.75 bathrooms.  The rent was reasonable but it came with a $200/month gas heating bill.  Um, not really what we were looking for.  Number 2 was an old home as well that had been stripped down and completely remodeled.  It had 2.75 bedrooms and 2 full baths plus it was 500 square feet larger than the home in Rockaway we were living in.  It was beautiful!  The asking price for rent was reasonable but the asking for down and deposit was way too high.  We ended up paying the same for rent as our current house without having to pay a deposit. 

We had a 1 week opportunity to move in July because we had so many other obligations in Bend.  Blazer stayed with my mom and we spent 4 exhausting days moving all of the stuff from one home to the other while also cleaning and landscaping the house we moved out of.  We are completely done with moving for at least another 2 years...oh dear God I hope so at least.

The awesome thing about moving was all the space we were able to get in the new home.  We even splurged and got all new decor.  We've been living in the new house in town since August 1st now.  It's so nice to drive 2 minutes to the grocery store instead of 25 minutes.  Blazer also has a bad-ass room with plenty of space to spread out the contents of his overstuffed toy box.  I'll show pics of the new place in another post.

For the rest of July, I spent most of my days in a coffee shop with my best friend, Talena Baker.  We got to spend a TON of time with family too.  I love Central Oregon for summer...it just feels right to be there when most days are clear skies, sunny, and 85-95 degrees with hardly any humidity.


JULY NOTES:    Blazer started crawling like a speed racer in addition to perfecting the bear crawl.  My kid is a monster!  Oh yeah...body builder in the making.

June and some of July 2011 - Here we go...

June...

Well, what a grand month that was...NOT

We went to our lawyer with my awesome end-of-the-school-year check, completely excited (though ironically) to file for our bankruptcy.  Is that still a social taboo?  Even more ironical (yes I just said that) is coming to the realization that we had too much money in our bank account to file bankruptcy without them taking it all.  Even the whole, "But this is what we have to live off of all summer..." shpeal didn't cut it.  Advice from the awesome lawyer..."Go spend it."  Riight...

After leaving the lawyer less than satisfied and with a pocket full of "already spoken for" money, we decided to go visit my parents and other family in Bend, Oregon.

That is where we spent June.  Exciting?  Sure..

JUNE SIDE NOTES:
    Blazer started crawling and (YIKES) I have zero photos of it.  Another milestone uncovered.  Awesome mom of the year award...right here.

July...

Oh July, how I look back on thee and realize you went by way too fast.  July is my birth month, which gets less and less exciting the older I get.  What is exciting, however, is that every year we get to go camping with a wonderful group of people at a wonderful and FREE campsite we stumbled on years ago.  This year, we decided to go for 5 days.  Without showers.  Without toilets or running water.  Without a crib.

Verdict?  AWESOMENESS...well except for how we smelt and felt at the end of the 5 days.   Blazer was a champ and slept every night, all through the night, except one.  The invention of Pack N Plays made that trip possible.  Thank you, Graco.  I'd also like to thank Coleman, who makes unbelievable durable air beds.  RVs, eat your heart out.

Some remembrance...

 Kelty, you rock!

 Walkers while camping when your son can't walk?  Uh-MAZE-ing.

 Giggles with dad while sitting around the fire = priceless bonding.

 A place to call "home" while in the outdoors!

 Playing "Pass the Baby"

"Mom, camping is incredible."

More of July to come...

Catching up...AGAIN

Wow, I sure do have a way of forgetting things, not finishing things, and...(insert another excuse here).

So I neglected this unfortunate blog for quite some time.  As life has it, we have experienced way too much in the last however-many-months since I blogged to post it all in one shot.  I think a series of "What happened when" is in order. 

Stay tuned...

8 Months...whaaaaaat?!

So today as I was writing the date on the whiteboard at school, I realized it was exactly 8 months ago that Blazer made our lives exponentially better.

I look at him today and I can't believe how much that little bugger makes me smile!  He's a crazy little man who scoots around like he is in training for an army mission.  No crawling yet, but he is so close!  

He can now stand on his own when he wants to play with his Leap Frog table!

He plays and plays like he won't be able to play ever again and it's his last chance for a good time!

We can't believe how fast time has gone and we are loving every minute (well, mostly every minute) we get to share with this little man. 

I mean, come one, this should make EVERYONE smile! 

Have an awesome rest of the week everyone!

The past 2 months in a nut shell.

Yes, I know, long time and no posting...again.

For many reasons, I cannot get myself to blog as much.  I love to write, but that writing bug inside of me went on vacation for a while.  Amanda V., thank you for inspiring me to keep going.

The last two months.

My last blog was, to say the least, sad.  I can honestly say that I am feeling much better about things.

March brought some ups and downs for us.  Aaron got laid off and became a stay-at-home dad, but not before I lent him to Bend to spend some time with family and help out his brother.  He got laid off right before Spring Break, which was actually a blessing because it allowed us to spend some time together.  Rebekah, Jess, and their kids came to visit us for a few days.  Them visiting was the start to me feeling a bit better - family seems to be a good cure for me.  We enjoyed their company so much!  The kids running around, sharing meals, going to Lincoln City, it was so needed and appreciated.

Here they are at Oceanside - one of the most beautiful Oregon beaches I seen.  

They left the Monday of Spring Break and Aaron and I headed to Bend the same day.  We don't waste time when it comes to going to Bend to see family.  While we were in Bend, we got to spend some time with both of our families.  Oh man, I needed that - I mean, REALLY needed that.  Being home for a week reminded me of how it feels to be normal.  No bursting-in-tears days, upset rampages, or anything of the sort.  I was just nice for once.  Then, Sunday came.   

Leaving Blazer

I'm not sure where the strength to do this came from.  When I got ready to leave on Sunday, I made the decision to leave Blazer with Aaron, under the condition that my mom would watch him during the day.  This meant that I was leaving my husband and Blazer in Bend for a week.  I was going home...alone.   Something inside of me allowed me to be okay with that.  I was never away from Blazer before and I had so much anxiety on Sunday, thinking about leaving him.  I trust Aaron and I trust my mother, which made it easier on me.  There is something about your own mom that settles you inside, and as a mother myself now, I had to feel comfortable with where Blazer would be during the day while Aaron helped out his brother.  Thank you mom, for being the kind of mom I can trust with my own son and feel sure that he will be okay with you.  

I kissed Blazer on the cheek and, with deep sobs and tears running down my face, I left.  I cried for about 10 minutes in the car and then went about the trip.  I got home to an empty house...and it wasn't that bad.  I'm not going to lie, it was nice to relax and not have the responsibility of doing anything but taking care of myself.  I missed Blazer deeply and cried when we talked on skype, but it was a good break.  Then the weekend came, I got to see Aaron and Blazer.  Aaron needed to stay another week for his brother, so I decided to leave Blazer for another week.  I KNOW!  How the heck did I even have the strength for this, I have no idea.  I took Monday off from work and spent an extra long weekend with them both.  On Monday, it wasn't as hard to leave Blazer, but I still got teary eyed.  The second week was not like the first.  I thought it would be easier, but it was harder.  I cried almost every night and I felt so lonely.  I needed my boys back.  I could not wait for Friday to get here.  When it did, I made a very fast trip to Bend.  The first thing I did when I got there was go to my son and hold him in my arms.  This time, I knew I was going home with him and Aaron.  

Aaron as a Stay-at-home Daddy

When Aaron and Blazer got to come home with me, I was relieved.  It's really scary knowing our financial situation and then having Aaron get laid off.  The bright side of that was Aaron being able to stay home with Blazer.  Aaron has been home with Blazer for two weeks now and he does such a good job.  I think my husband even knows my son a little better than I do now.  After the two weeks in Bend and the two weeks so far at home, Aaron has sure gotten the hang of caring for our son.  Aaron knows Blazer's cries, gets him bathed, dressed, and makes sure he takes his naps.  Blazer seems to love being at home with daddy too.  It's funny - when I was at home with Blazer, he would get so excited to see Aaron when Aaron got home from work; now, Blazer gets excited when I come home from work and I LOVE THAT.  I take comfort in knowing that Blazer can spend all day with his daddy.  Aaron is such a wonderful father and I don't just say that because he's my husband, I say that because it's the truth.  I love you honey.

Blazer and Daddy - both in their sports gear. 

Blazer's Updates

This is what I know about Blazer after the last two months:

(I could go on and on, so not everything is listed.)

1. He is allergic to Oatmeal and Milk (still)
2. He does not like peas.
3. Luvs diapers fit him best.
4. He LOVES Mum-mums (thank you sis)
5. Sweet potatoes make him smile.
6. Bananas make Blazer have funny faces!
7. Singing Ernie, who we got from Goodwill, is Blazer's best friend. 
8. He does everything backwards (movement-wise), crawling and even walking in the walker.
9. He has two bottom teeth and two more teeth cutting at the top (please Lord, make those come quickly)
10. He LOVES music, favorites include 2Pac, Ben Harper, and the nursery rhyme "Twinkle Little Star"
11. At his 6-month appointment he weighed 17lbs (50th Percentile) and was 27 inches tall (75th Percentile)
12. He is not afraid of dogs and likes feeling how sharp Kuna's teeth are.
13. He's going to have blue eyes forever, and they are beautiful.
14. He really likes having Dr. Seuss books read to him.
15. He can reach to be picked up and can soldier crawl!

 Blazer continues to be my light.  He is so amazing and it never surprises me how much love I have for him as it grows each day.  He can drive me crazy sometimes but he mostly just melts my heart.  :)  I love you son.

Hard, but necessary decisions.

 There are a couple of things Aaron and I really had to sit down and think about.  We had to decide if bankruptcy was really something we wanted to do; whether I should give up a full-time job and move home to be with family; if finding our dogs new homes would be best for them and for us.  I want anyone who reads this to know, before placing judgments, that none of these decisions were made lightly nor were they made on a whim.  Aaron and I discussed every decision at length and made choices that were best for our family.  In other situations or other scenarios, I'm not sure we would make the same choices, but I am sure that the choices we made are right for us.  1) We did decide to file bankruptcy.  For some idiotic reason, it costs a lot to file so we are saving up for that.  2) We decided staying on the coast and keeping my full-time job in this economy was the best, even if we miss our family terribly and my depression is concerning.  I'm going to see my doctor, we have changed our eating habits, and I'm going to exercise regularly to hopefully avoid having to get on medication.  3) We decided to find new homes for our dogs.  They need homes with families who have more time for them and the resources to take care of them properly.  We had the sad realization that we are not fit "doggy parents" right now.  It's really sad to find new homes for dogs that we have had for so long.  No, we did not plan on this and it breaks our hearts that we have to do it.  Thanks to Linda (Shane's Mom), we were able to find the perfect home for Kuna and we see her off next weekend.  Copper is in need of vet care, so we will be getting him the care he needs and a new home will be found for him.  Aaron and I struggled with the decision on the dogs and it's still hard to think about it.  

Kuna and Copper

   

Finally, a closing.

Overall, the last two months have been one up-and-down type of ride.  Aaron has been very understanding of my emotions right now, which is saying a lot!  Blazer grows so much each day and it's exciting to watch him learn new things.  As a family, we have so many blessings.  Even though we struggle from time to time, we can say that the Lord has provided us with a wonderful family.  It is through HIM that we are able to hold strong during these rough times.  Praise the Lord on this Easter Sunday and we give thanks for all of our blessings. 

Happy Easter!

 

Blazer, wearing the SAME outfit his cousin Tyson wore last Easter.

 Tyson Conklin on the Easter of 2010.  Thanks for sharing the clothes buddy!